Fine!

Just click and be bewildered.

If you're reading this and you've got $125 that you don't really need, then you can buy me that oh-so-sweet print.

Here's Greg Simkins's site.

Holiday Songs: My Personal Top 9

In no particular order....

"Winter Wonderland" by the Eurythmics
Working in a retail wonderland this holiday season, I've heard about 25 different versions of this song and as a result I'm starting to hate it. But then I hear this version again and I'm totally blown away by Annie Lennox's voice and harmonies. So rich.

"(It Must Have Been 'Ol) Santa Claus" by Harry MF Connick, Jr.
Even though it's 12 years old, I'm just hearing this one for the 1st time this season. I think this is a new classic. Harry Connick is 2sweet. Gang vocals from the backup band? So fun.

"Christmas In Hollis" by Run DMC
OK, so I said no particular order but this is the one. My absolute favorite. I got this tape right when it came out ("A Very Special Christmas") and I was right on this jam. And then they made a video for it. This track is so solid, so fresh, so happy, so morally uplifting. I cried like a little bitch every time I heard this song during the first Christmas season after JMJ passed on.

"Swiss Colony Beef Log" by Eric Cartman
This is the Christmas song that Meatloaf wishes he wrote. It perfectly captures the "ace in the hole" that is Grandma.

"The Chipmunks Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)" by The Alvin Chipmunks feat. Dave Seville
I've heard a rumor that this song singlehandedly sparked the whole "Jews for Jesus" movement. Also, hula hoop sales skyrocketed....

"Twelve Days of Christmas" by The Muppets feat. John Denver
This is the best thing John Denver ever did, hands down. Also, Miss Piggy really made this one her own with the "ba dum bum bum." To me it's the equivalent of Aretha Franklin's adding the "r-e-s-p-e-c-t" to Otis Redding's "Respect." Yeah, that's right, Otis Redding's "Respect."

"Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto" by James Brown
I think the title says it all.

"Christmas Time is Here" by Vince Guaraldi
If it wasn't for this man and his music Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang wouldn't be shit. I mean, what would they have done all those sweet dances to?

"Welcome Christmas" by the Citizens of Whoville
A glimpse of what world peace will look like....

OK and a #10 for good measure:

"The Hanukkah Song" by Adam Sandler
This song has and will continue to crush anti-semitism in this country. I mean, Captain Kirk AND Mr. Spock? Diamond Dave? How you gonna hate on that?

Flattery

Have YOU ever had a song written about you? Well, I have. It's even named after me. It's about 3 years old, but it's only recently surfaced on the internet.

It can be found here.

At the time of this post it has been played 718 times on MySpace. That's kinda scary.

Avatar

Yahoo started up this crappy little avatar thing with dorky animation and such. I looked at the options and was like "given so few choices there's NO way I can make one of these things look like me."

Wrong.



I think it's pretty uncanny....

Pudgie's Pizza

I am a total sucker for 80's nostalgia. I think it's an inherent desire for people to cling onto the time period of their childhood. I read an interview with Huey Lewis a few months back... no scratch that... I was watching some Back to the Future DVD bonus footage a few months back and Huey was saying that if he could live in any time period, it would be the 50's. I'm guessing that's probably because that's the decade HE grew up in. I guess that's pretty obvious... we find comfort in returning to that world that surrounded us when we didn't have to worry about taxes or scabies and such.

Anyway, there is one crown jewel of my 80's world that I thought was lost forever in the abyss of the modern day but in fact it is in full force and rocking the 80's aesthetic harder and truer than Hot Topic could ever dream of. It is a fine establishment and PUDGIE'S PIZZA be thine name.

FNA, man. F.N.A. If you were a kid in the Finger Lakes (or some lucky surrounding areas of Upstate NY, Southern Tier and Northern PA) in the MF 80's and you ate food, then you know the absolute greatness of a Pudgie's Party Pizza. Every goddamn sleepover, birthday party, Pizza Day or really any function that involved 4 or more children warranted the purchase and consumption of a fucking awesome Pudgie's Party Pizza. Pardon my language, but this shit gets me going...

And the Pudgies storefronts were beautiful and a-plenty: the small brown and beige squared-off buildings adorned with a bright orange computery-lettered signage could be found up and down Routes 5&20 from Seneca Falls to Geneva. That's right, in that short 12 mile stretch of road that connected 2 dinky villages and one small city you could find THREE (3) Pudgie's Pizzas. It was absolutely breathtaking. The sight of a Pudgie's is almost as sweet as the red sauce that's generously spread atop that giant rectangular pie of joy that is the Pudgie's Party Pizza (OK, "PPP" from here on out).

Notice in that last sentence I switched to the present tense ("is"). That's right. Despite the fact that all 3 Pudgies that I mentioned earlier went out of business no less than 10-15 years ago, Pudgies is still cranking out PPP's like it's 1984. I guess I just wasn't looking in the right places, I live in a bubble and I am a miserable, disgusting failure. Well, sometime in September I was rolling through Canandaigua up to Farmington to check out a good friend's new house and I just about shit my pants when I saw a that there is fully operational mothership on the west side of North Main Street. Fucking unreal. It was just how I had remembered it. But surely the pizza couldn't taste the same as it did 20 years ago.... fuck that.

It can.

It do.

The PPP is alive and well and just a bite of one of its thick, square slices will be enough to make you forget all about pubes and debit cards and Lindsay Lohan's sad anorexic state. The happy memories of 2600s, 5200s, 7800s, 8675309s and US-1 Trucking will just come pouring back in your head, your heart and your soul.

This is only the beginning. I'm going to get a PPP for dinner tonight... after that tirade, how can I not?

BTW: Pudgie's has a website. (Best viewed in IE)