Zartan

Remember when you were a kid and you were waiting for something to come in the mail? Like Ralphie and his goddamn secret decoder pin?

Well, my piece was the G.I. Joe villain, Zartan. That fucker had these heat sensitive pads that changed color, his skin changed color in the sunlight and so did the sweet little swamp skiff that came with him! And J.C. Penny had them fucking BACKORDERED!!!!! Forever. Holy shit, I wanted that figure. After about eight years (which was really about 8 weeks), he showed up on the front porch. To this day, my heart still starts to race a little every time I see a UPS truck or a mail truck in front of my parents' house.

So, I went up on eBay to see if I could snag one since my original is long gone (classic mother yard sale maneuver). Fair market value of one in MLC condition (mint loose and complete) is only $20-$30. That's according to the greatest book ever: "The Ultimate Guide to G.I. Joe 1982-1994," by Mark Bellomo, a hometown pal. TRUE!

I haven't been able to find an original Zartan that I really like and can afford... yet. However, I did find the 1994 version which is extra sweet because he represents with a serious mohawk! Now I get to impatiently wait for the mail to come everyday for the next week... just like old times!!!!

Oh yes.